A few months ago, a friend and I were going on a trip. He smiled at me when he saw me and asked me a question that prompted me to write this article: “Why are you usually so calm? Do you not encounter difficulties or hurdles in your life? You always appear so collected “. I smiled slightly but said nothing in return.
A girl stood next to us on the Subway train, so she decided to inquire with us about her intended drop-off location. We told her, and being a crazy Nigerian from Lagos, I took advantage of the chance to converse with the lady; we talked all through. A third buddy of ours, who had just met me for the first time, looked at me with a strange face as soon as we got down the Subway train and said firmly: You are a fuck boy. How do you pull that off? You gonna get all the girls in the world, how many girlfriends do you have? ten? twenty? I told him I am not a fuck boy and that I don’t have any girlfriends. He was in disbelief, he didn’t believe me, but I am not that good at persuading people to believe my words. It is what it is; isn’t it?
So back to the original question my friend asked me; why am I so calm? Where do I get all this confidence from? How did I get to this point in my life?
Allow me to digress and tell you a story. I was the most popular guy in my high school nearly a decade ago; keep in mind, we have thousands of students (this is common in Government schools in Nigeria). But why is that? I used to be into music; I can sing and rap. And I’m very good at it. I will always be on stage singing at any major school event. This means I have an extensive outreach. And you are aware of what it means when you start gaining popularity? Girls flock to your side. But here is the thing, whenever I am with my friends in the studio, there’s something in my mind that used to tell me I don’t have to be here. Most of the things my friends were doing were against my beliefs; Smoking, drinking, and all sort of social vices. You see, artists are quite well paid in my country. I wanted to be wealthy; is there any other means to achieve my goal besides becoming an artist? Also, I hate the idea of being surrounded by girls, I started thinking in my head, will I be able to hold on? I will tell myself this is not the kind of lifestyle I envisioned; I want to be a father, a good one, a good husband, and it all starts now. This kind of life will get me off track.
After some time, I made the decision to permanently end my music career. When my mother and brothers questioned me about it, I replied that I was going to college and, I am going to become an Engineer. Thankfully, I was a very good student. Mind you, I was made the social prefect of my High School. I left music for good, I ignored all the girls, I left my old friends; I told myself: “I am going to live the life I envisioned for myself”. I won’t drink Alcohol, take drugs, or smoke Cigarettes. I want to lead a decent life and one that is less miserable. Then I realized something very important:
Your profession most times determines your association.
I have stayed true to my words, and it has been almost a decade. Now, why would you think someone like that could lack self-assurance? Why do you believe that a person who keeps his word and promises will be afraid of you? Why do you suppose a man who is gradually coming to realize a noble objective won’t be calm?
Most of the time, our feelings about ourselves are what give us confidence and tranquillity. And the best way to feel good about ourselves is when we set goals and we are achieving them or still on the right path of achieving those goals.
I was recently telling a good friend of mine, whom I’ve known for over ten years, that does he know we’re successful? He asked, “How? We are just broke kids” I stated that we kept our word. We’re living the life we envisioned. And that is success in its own regard.
The only man who succeeds is the man who is progressively realizing a worthy ideal. He is the man who said, I am going to become this, and then begins to work towards that goal. — Earl Nightingale
Success is a school teacher, who is teaching in school because that’s what she wanted to do. Success is a wife and mother because she wanted to become a wife or a mother and is doing a good job of it. Success is a man who runs the gas station because that’s what he wanted to do. Success is a successful salesman who wants to become a top-notch salesman and grow and build with his organization.
In summary, success is anyone who is doing deliberately a predetermined job because that’s what he decided to do deliberately.
Everything comes if a man will only wait, I have brought myself by long meditation to the conviction of a human being with a settled purpose must accomplish it and that nothing can resist a will that will stake even existence for its fulfillment. — The Isrealis
Tunde, Let’s go get some bitches? Sorry, I don’t do that. Why? I told myself eight years ago I wasn’t gonna do that. It even meant sacrificing my music career.
What objectives did you set a decade ago? Have you already attained it? Ahead of schedule? Have you already given up? The only way to have a confident and tranquil life is in this way. I just revealed my secret to the entire world, ouch. Do you even consider it to be a secret?
